Designing a Life You Don’t Want to Escape From
You’re probably familiar with decision fatigue. Every day, you’re managing hundreds of choices – some small, others large. Obviously, not all decisions deserve equal weight. And as it turns out, many of the ones that impact your long-term happiness the most are hiding in plain sight.
For professionals juggling work, family, finances, and future planning, it can be easy to get caught up in productivity hacks or investment strategies – while losing sight of the more important question: Am I actually building a life I enjoy living?
The good news? We don’t need to recreate everything. Often, the best way to improve life satisfaction is through small, repeatable principles that guide our everyday decisions – without adding more complexity or stress. Or, more succinctly, changing things just for the sake of changing things often just ends up causing more problems down the road.
Here are a few that are worth keeping close.
Choose Experiences Over Things (Most of the Time)
This is a familiar mantra for a reason: it’s backed by research and real life. People tend to adapt quickly to material possessions – but meaningful experiences stick with us.
Experiences typically deliver more lasting happiness than things, strengthen relationships, form part of our identity, and create anticipation and cherished memories; they don’t need to be expensive. A walk in nature, a dinner with close friends, or a shared family tradition can be just as fulfilling (or more!) than getting the newest iPhone or a new car, and these things will continue to create happiness after the smell of a new car has faded.
That said, not all “things” are off limits. If a purchase facilitates meaningful experiences – like a camper van that enables years of family road trips – it can be worth every penny, even if it doesn’t make perfect sense on paper.
Count the Times Left
A powerful exercise called “counting the times left” helps us see how finite and meaningful certain life experiences really are.
For example: if you take two family trips each summer and your kids will likely move out in four years, you don’t have an infinite number of summers – you have 8 more trips. That framing makes it feel more urgent to protect and prioritize time for what really matters.
This is especially helpful for high earners who feel hesitant to spend money or take time away from work. In many cases, the real risk isn’t overspending – it’s missing out on experiences you won’t be able to recreate later.
Sweat the Future Details
When we imagine a future decision – a cabin, a career change, a move – we tend to focus on the headline benefits. But it’s the daily details that matter more.
Ask: “How will this actually affect my time day-to-day?”
That new property might sound pleasant, but who’s going to open and close it each summer & winter? How far away is it from your current home? How often will we really use it?
Imagining how you’ll actually spend your time can help you avoid costly surprises – and design a future you’ll actually enjoy living in.
Prioritize Time Over Money (But Not Blindly)
Sometimes, high-income professionals feel more time-poor. This is due to the opportunity cost of time feeling higher when you’re paid well, which makes it harder to step away from work or spend money to reclaim time.
Fortunately, the research on this is pretty clear: people who prioritize time over money tend to be happier, especially when they use that time for relationships, meaningful activities, or rest – so for some of you that I have told to spend more money, please accept this as your “nudge” to go “do the fun thing.” The data has your back.
This doesn’t mean time is always better than money – but it’s worth asking: What am I gaining (or giving up) in how I spend my time?
Be in Nature, Not in Traffic
Continuing on the previous point regarding research and data – one interesting finding is that nature is something we don’t get used to, despite the human body and psyche being extremely adaptable.
A walk in the woods, a run by the lake, or a view of the mountains tends to provide a consistent boost in well-being.
One of the other things we don’t get used to? Traffic. Unfortunately, long commutes – especially in congestion – tend to continually wear us down, even years later.
If you can, choose where you live, work, and play with this in mind. If not, consider changing how you commute – an e-bike, a different route, or a shift in schedule can dramatically improve quality of life, even if it costs more.
Bundle the Good Stuff
We can’t do everything. But we can do a few things that check a lot of boxes at once.
Physical activity. Time in nature. Building relationships. Pursuing a skill. Contributing to others.
Look for activities that combine multiple values – like a family hike, a community class, or training for something with a friend. The more elements of a “good life” you can fit into a single commitment, the easier it is to stick with it and feel fulfilled doing it.
Find Flow – Then Make Room for It
Flow is the feeling of deep engagement in something you enjoy and are challenged by – where time seems to disappear. It’s often described as one of the most meaningful experiences we can have.
For professionals, this might show up at work – but ideally, you also have flow in your life outside of work. Hobbies, sports, creative projects, volunteering – anything that brings energy and engagement.
The trick? Flow often requires a foundation of skill. So building these activities before retirement or major transitions is key. You can’t skip straight to mastery or meaning – you have to put in the reps.
Don’t Fear Regret – Use It
Regret gets a bad rap, but it’s one of our most valuable negative emotions. It helps clarify what matters – and what we wish we’d done differently.
If you notice regret popping up around missed time with family, neglected hobbies, or relationships that have drifted, take that as useful information. Try to use it to shape your next choices!
Rather than trying to maximize every small decision (which can backfire), focus your energy on the big, infrequent choices. Satisfice the rest or consider hiring a professional whose job it is to maximize the small decisions while you focus on life’s larger ones.
Final Thought: The Journey Is the Point
Financial planning is more than just numbers – it’s a tool to help design a life that feels right while you’re living it.
The good life isn’t a finish line – it’s built in the choices you make every day. Which means you don’t need to overhaul your life. You just need to be intentional about how you spend your time, your money, and your energy – one decision at a time.
If you’d like help aligning your financial plan with the kind of life you actually want to live, I’d be glad to help. Thank you for reading.
Disclosures:
Important information about mutual funds is found in the Fund Facts document. Please read this carefully before investing. Commissions, trailing commissions, management fees and expenses all may be associated with mutual fund investments. Mutual funds are not guaranteed, their values change frequently, and past performance may not be repeated. Unit values and investment returns will fluctuate.
The information provided is based on current laws, regulations and other rules applicable to Canadian residents. It is accurate to the best of our knowledge as of the date of publication. Rules and their interpretation may change, affecting the accuracy of the information. The information provided is general in nature and should not be relied upon as a substitute for advice in any specific situation. For specific situations, advice should be obtained from the appropriate legal, accounting, tax or other professional advisors.
References
- Van Boven, L., & Gilovich, T. (2003). To do or to have? That is the question. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(6), 1193–1202. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.6.1193
(Found that people derive more enduring happiness from experiential purchases than from material ones.) - Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. Harper & Row.
(Core research behind flow theory—people are most fulfilled when engaged in deeply absorbing, challenging activities.) - White, M. P., Alcock, I., Wheeler, B. W., & Depledge, M. H. (2013). Would you be happier living in a greener urban area? Psychological Science, 24(6), 920–928. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797612464659
(Research demonstrating that happiness is positively associated with exposure to natural environments.) - MacKerron, G., & Mourato, S. (2013). Happiness is greater in natural environments. Global Environmental Change, 23(5), 992–1000. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.gloenvcha.2013.03.010
(Study showing higher reported happiness levels in natural, as opposed to built, environments.) - Kahneman, D., Krueger, A. B., Schkade, D., Schwarz, N., & Stone, A. A. (2004). A survey method for characterizing daily life experience: The day reconstruction method. Science, 306(5702), 1776–1780. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1103572
(Examines how people experience daily activities including the impact of commuting on well-being.) - Holmes, C. (2022). Happier hour: How to beat distraction, expand your time, and focus on what matters most. Avery.
(Cassie Holmes, UCLA professor, presents “counting the times left” as a tool for prioritizing meaningful activities.
A friendly reminder that money should support your life – not distract you from living it.
By tying your financial choices to proven drivers of happiness, you’re far more likely to look back without regret.
